Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine Love

I'm sending you this Valentine
In hopes that you're still mine
And if this Valentine doesn't reach you
It's ok...
-- Norman Connors featuring Michael Henderson

I last celebrated Valentine's Day in 1990.

That was pre-Farrakhan. Pre-Actual Facts. Pre-5%.

If I recall correctly, I was going with this dude named Mike, and he gave me a cheesy box of candy, 6 roses, and some dick.

Yeah. That was the extent of it, but hell, he was only 21. And functionally unemployed.

The years I spent celebrating the day prior to that don't have a firm anchor in my memory, and I can't call upon their knowledge right now.

Had it not been for all the marketing, it's one of the days that I would surely forget about.

All day long, people are asking me What did he get you?

What did who get me?

Your man!

Um...get me for what?

For Valentine's Day!


That's always met with smirks or sneers, or both.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge... -- Hosea 4:6

Sneer on. While you make a glutton of yourself feasting on those truffles of disease, and caramels of cholesterol. Fervently gobbling down mouthful after mouthful of candied vanity, only to be devastated a month later when said confection of your ego has manifested on your ass in such a way that the love that is allegedly celebrated on February 14th is merely a figment of your imagination.

But smirk on.


Oh, and not to leave the fellas out...I hope you get that shot of annual ass tonight, dawg. Yanno...that piece of ass you ain't seen since last year this time, over a box of Godiva's and a bottle of Ballatore, cuz you were too cheap to buy some good shit. It's just some ass right? With a year-long shelf life.


What starts with an "i" and ends with a "t", people?



Blogger Berry said...

Where is the LOVE??? Everyone is so damn bitter! LOL! Revelling in the scent of mango luxuriousness! ROFLMAO. Happy <3 day, pumpkin :-)

February 14, 2006 7:50 PM  
Blogger EJ Flavors said...

You're still killing me with the Norman Connors/Michael Henderson/Jean Carne song. And here I stand singin' it all off key, 'cause you know that's what I do. I still stand my the UMA - Unromantic Men of America. Happy V Day!!!

February 14, 2006 8:46 PM  
Anonymous o said...

Hmmm...intuit. intelligent. introspect. indolent. irreverent. impact. and of course, idiot. But enough of that. it's late, I should be sleeping. Oh, "I'm cracking up at the sense of humor in your post" also starts with an 'i' and ends with a 't'. BUt that's beside the point. So anyway, why is it that a moment of recognition, aside from all the others, is so bad? Is the ceremony of a day everyone recognizes (well, lots of people) all that terrible, even if it is a bit commercialized? The way I see it, any chance to tell somebody how important they are and how special can't be all bad. Then again, I am one of the more glass-is-half-full kinda cats I know.

February 15, 2006 1:17 AM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

truffles of disease, and caramels of cholesterol

Loving it.

February 15, 2006 10:14 AM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

Berry and O -- I'm not bitter. Fat naked greased down with butter-shiny, white baby boys shootin' arrows at my heart just don't get me into the mood for love. LOL

I think it's ludicrous to run around like a chicken with your head cut off, lookin' for a gift to give to your love-lump on February 14th or else...they gon' be mad. Are you kiddin' me? I wish a nigga would.

But that's just my opinion. Nobody should be taking anything I say as the gospel, for I'm not Jesus. Just got my own thoughts about the way things are in this world. ;-)

February 15, 2006 12:22 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

EJ -- Michael Henderson was killin' it, wasn't he? As soon as I figure out how to do a radioblog, I get my Michael Henderson collection out. LOVE that Yazoo City, Mississippi man.

February 15, 2006 12:23 PM  
Blogger Mr. Carter said...

That's what's up. I feel you 51% of it. By the way, can I borrow Andre' 3000's gun off the "Love Below" album cover when you are finished with it? Check me out some time. Peace.

February 21, 2006 9:43 AM  
Blogger Viqi French said...

Ah! A kindred spirit. I never have been able to get shit going really for Valentine's day. I just ignore it; it usually goes away quickly enough.

February 21, 2006 3:05 PM  
Blogger GC (God's Child) said...


March 13, 2006 7:49 PM  
Blogger Berry said...

A month and counting...these disappearing acts are killing me. You must have met someone...perhaps a valentine? LOL

March 15, 2006 10:00 PM  
Anonymous dp said...

yo what the 'F' happened?

I was getting all ready to make this site one of my most freakquently visited, but themn the freak went and left.

cum back please

April 09, 2006 2:06 PM  

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