Monday, May 08, 2006

drama, love, and 'lationships



It's not about who's right or who's wrong
It's not about who's weaker or who's strong
It's not about who's innocent or who's fault
It aint really bout that kinda thing at all
It's not about who does it or done it or did it to who
Don't matter if the both of you lose
It's really not bout nothing excpet for me and you girl
-- Babyface

It's ironic that my last entry was on Valentine's Day...a salty ode to lovers world 'round.

It was shortly thereafter that my dysfunctional, yet seemingly solid house of cards dismantled.

Funny thing, is that I knew we were on life support.



But you know how it is when you love something, the way you knew it to me, but not in the current state that it is...

...it's hard to pull that plug.



Long story short, caught the fat fucker in a lie, and I hemmed his false ass up.

Told him, I was through with the yo-yo dating shit that we had perfected over the years.

Guess he believes me now.

It's all 'bout drama and love and 'lationships
And when the going gets tough you deal with it
And you dont ever, you never walk away from it
You hold on...you be strong
It's about drama and trust and making it
If your somebody messed up you dig it in
Dont let nobody come between you, you just stay with it
You hold on and be strong
And hold on, yes you do...
-- Babyface

Anyway...

Walk is what I did. Limping a bit, but struttin' none the less.

I'm pissed, but only because I lost a good friend because of this. No...not his ass. My ace boon coon. The person who introduced us to one another. Somehow, in her ineffectual effort to stay OUT of the fray, she landed in the middle and her loyalty got compromised.

I'm not past that part yet.

We'll see.

At any rate...how ironic that I poured salt on your Godiva Chocolates, only to have mine PISSED on soon thereafter!



Nina don't stay down for long though.

As fate would have it, a fresh new wind blew in, opening my windows and doors with opportunity and passion and light...

I'm digging it...98% of the time.

Is it just infatuation
Or is it real love?
-- Infatuation, Jamie Foxx

One moment, I'm smitten. The next, I'm smoldering.

The tumultousness has alternatively turned me on and turned me off like a short in a light switch.

I probably need some time to let the rawness of my emotions subside before I get involved...

...but he's like a flame, and I'm a moth.

Can't.

Can I get closer
Just let me touch your hand
Can I be more than
A friend, and be your man
Can I get closer
Just let me touch your hand
Can I be more than just a friend
I know you want me for your man...
-- Closer, Lathun

I'd like to have just three days of peace.

No thoughts swirling around in my brain.

No physical pain.

No emotional twitches.

Calm chaos. Blue pinks. Cool warmth.

This poor heart of mine
Still feel I can find
A love to call my own
I gave him good love
Made him feel like a man
Now I need someone new
And I want someone like
You...
-- Rescue Me, Teedra Moses

Best case scenario.
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7 Comments:

Anonymous o said...

Nice ur back. And I can't say anything about ex-dude, but if the lady was a friend maybe you should take a moment and weigh the number and magnitude of her "rights" against her "wrongs" and see if maybe you should stall her out a bit on this one. Being the intro-friend is almost always hard, and not everybody got the same strength sets, ya know?

May 08, 2006 5:37 PM  
Anonymous Billy Sunday said...

I say that I'm glad you are back in the bldg. for selfish reasons. I like to read your page, but I hope your not one of these folks that needs dysfunction to do their craft.

May 08, 2006 5:49 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

O -- I don't know. I'm loyal to a fault, and I pretty much demand the same from my friends. Naw...there's no rhyme or reason to it -- just how it's gotta be with me. She showed me what side she's on...and it ain't on this side of the line.

Billy -- my craft exists because of dysfunction. Fancy that. Just enjoy it for whatever it's worth to you, and not the toll it takes out of me.

May 09, 2006 10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back to life
-Berry

May 09, 2006 1:37 PM  
Anonymous Xquizzyt1 said...

Hey Soror -

I always loved your site... and still do, so I hope yo' ass is here to stay... though I KNOW what it's like to go through some shyt and have to take a breather.

And um... as for this line, "Is it infatuation... Or is it real love? -- Infatuation, Jamie Foxx" is there actually such a thing as REAL love? I'm starting to wonder.

May 15, 2006 2:35 PM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

See that's why I don't introduce anyone...I personally don't blame the intro-person for what goes wrong...but that middle spot is never good, especially if one of the sides does something crudball.

May 17, 2006 12:08 PM  
Blogger **RPM** said...

My heart goes out to you on this one. Let me just say...I can relate, and I wish you all the peace available in life. Take care of you.

May 23, 2006 3:14 PM  

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