Monday, August 29, 2005

You and I

Can't imagine how the world would be
If I'd never met you
Don't know how I'd get through

When I need a place to hide away
I've got to run to
Nice to have someone who cares
Your love is my security
Can't you see there could never be...

I'm loving him strong right now.

It can't be fair to have this random, fickle ass woman. Love you one day. Can't stand you the other.

But anytime my world gets shaken up, I can lean back on the relationship that we have built this far.

And it supports.

As rag-tag as it has been over the years, it still catches me.

Anyone else but you
Anyone else but you
Anyone else but you and I

Him: Whatchu doin'?
Me: I'm on the phone.
Him: Ok. Call me back.

*20 minutes elapses*

Me: Whatchu doin'?
Him: On the phone.
Me: Ok. Holler back.

I don't mind sharing him with the world.

I don't own him. But...I belong to him. And

If I ever start to turn away
Let your touch remind me
What I'd leave behind me

I could never find another you
What we have together
No one else could ever know...

I get teary eyed just reading that.

He's allowed me to express my feelings and my love in such an unorthodox manner. Never trying to stifle me or to change me.

I would die spiritually if he didn't allow me to have it just as I have it.

I can't be boxed in. And while someone else might find that to be their greatest relationship fear...'s been his greatest strength.

I'm loving him strong right now.

I need your love to keep me strong
Can't you see, baby, I don't want...

When my aunt died a couple of weeks ago, I only wanted to talk to him.

He was quiet. He was silent. Processing what all of this meant.

We held the phone.

Damn, he said.

We held the phone. And we didn't hang up for an hour.

I didn't want him to come over, but I didn't want to be myself. But I didn't want to talk either.

He knew that.

Underneath private skies
Feel so lost in your eyes
The way it works I don't understand
We must be part of some greater plan
All I know is I will never love
Anyone else but you...

There's no one else for me but he.

I have to admit, it's not this romantic, starry-eyed love. Naw, we're over that part.

But could I walk away from him? No. Ever turn my back on him? No.

It's much more than love. I'm bound to him.

Since I've met him, I've never pictured myself old without him.

Says alot I suppose.


Anonymous O said...

Sounds like you're one of the lucky ones. I know people in relationships for years who don't feel that for their partner. Or who love a certain way b/c it's the only option open to them. Nice, I'm sure, to have love the way you want it...and have that way be the way he wants it, too.

August 29, 2005 6:40 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

But that's just it. On a normal day, our relationship is not necessarily lovey-dovey. Most people are boggled by the way we interact. It's a life-building effort. I allow him to share my life with me. I think it's better than love.

I think.

August 29, 2005 6:42 PM  
Anonymous O said...

Maybe it's that strong like you mentioned. Hell, maybe that strong like you mentioned really is love. Everything doesn't need words I guess. If it works, it works. And it sounds like your love (or like) requires the other person to have a certain kinda disposition. You found one...and so did he. (unrelated: I'm pissed that I forgot my belt when i left for the gym this morning--dammit)

Back to you. Ever get bothered by the aspects of him you want most? odd question, I know. Like "man I want someone to just let me feel how I feel" and "damn, why he always let it slide when I..."

August 30, 2005 9:48 AM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

Damn. Never considered that question...not once.

But yes, I do. At times, the space that I require unnerves me, and I want him to at least resist...a bit even. He doesn't.

That irritates me.

I've come to depend on his honesty, but at times, its starkness makes me ill. Literally.

Those are things that I must contend with in order to appear consistent, I suppose.

August 30, 2005 10:16 AM  
Anonymous iice said...

Ugh. I'm jealous as all hell right now...

August 30, 2005 3:48 PM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

great post.

August 31, 2005 11:15 AM  

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