Thursday, September 08, 2005

Miss Sally

There was a sweet, sweet lady
Who lived on my block
Not far from the smoke spot
She always had a pocket full of cash
Jeans full of ass, everytime she passed me
Well, I was just a young boy but I remember
Would I ever have a chance for romance
Miss Thing was much older
But if I had a chance, here's what I would have told her

You know I got a thing for you
Of course, I was too young for you
I didn't know just what to do
About the way I felt for you
I'm a little older now
Old enough to play around
So lock the door and lose the key
It's you, I need
Miss Sally
-- Lathun

I used to hold this little muthafucka's hand when we were walking to the store in the summer of '81.

Snotty-nosed and too fat for a 6 year old, I would feel sorry for his little weezin' ass. Never could keep up.

I knew how it felt to be left out of things because you weren't physically as strong as the other kids.

So I'd lag back, and make sure that Tang got across the street.

When he'd tried to strike up convo, I'd hush him. Lispin' ass. He was a cutie though, in a Dough-Boy Baby sort of way.

I don't want to pressure you, baby
But all I ever wanted to do
I wanna be your...lover
-- Prince

Fast forward to the summer of 2002.

Thick, reddish-brown. His curls black and glossy in the afternoon sun. All smiles. Aaah, I see the braces served you well.

Wassup, baby. It's been a long time. I seen ya fahva the ovuh day.

So I'on live around the way anymore, but I check on Pops weekly. And when I see them out on the corner, I pause for the cause. Check out my niggas who are still there.

And here his fine ass was. All growed the fuck up.

That baby fat had morphed into 210 lbs. on a 6'2" frame that makes you think of Gerald Levert, only toned. And finer.

Good muthafuckin' grief. Who told you to grow up lookin' like that?

This fish came swimmin' by. I hit her with the look.

We gonna hit 'em with the super grit, hit 'em with the super grit, ya'll
Aw hit 'em with the super grit
-- Trouble Funk

You besta swim fish before I jump in that ass like a storm. Bitch.

Are you eyeballin' me boy?
You keep me eyeballin' me and I'ma rip your eyeballs out and skull-fuck you to death!
-- Louis Gossett, Officer & A Gentleman

Ok. I got sidetracked, but I jive got heated all over again thinkin' about that cunt eyeballin' me.


Thick lover was leanin' all in my car, and I'm half feeling bad that I'm lusting after him like 40 goin' north when I practically used to change his diapers when he was little.

Half feelin' good though about this daydream I was havin' about putting my tongue slam down his throat.

...but still half feelin' bad.

So we chitted to the chat, and he offered me his number.

We should keep in touch.

Touch deez.

I smirked at the insidiousness of it all.

But man, I couldn't take the baby's number. Plus, I'on call niggas. Fuck I look like. Get at me when you see me, youngin.

I gotta girl named Sally
And she don't squawk
Or eat pork with a spoon or fork
-- Stetsasonic

I didn't see him for a while, and then he drove up one day when I'm out on the block, reminiscing with the natives.

I don't know how we got on the subject, but we were teasing this other dude that used to like me but was skurrreed to tell me back in high school.

You wanted to be my boyfriend, Pete? wanted to be my boyfriend? Fa real?

So, Tang chimes in,

I've always wanted to fuck you, Nina.

*needle scratches the record*

I've always wanted to fuck you in your ass. I used to lay in bed thinkin' about that big ass.

As pimptified as I am, and as bad as I am, and as thorough as I am...

My neck got all hot, and my face. My face was on fire.

I was embarrassed as fuck!

You wanted to fuck me in my ass? What gave you the idea that you coulda got up in my ass? Even in your dreams?

I want my rim shot, hey, digi, digi
The rim shot, hey, c'mon
My rim shot, hey, digi, digi
The rim shot, hey, c'mon
-- Erykah Badu

I mean damn. Gotta be something psychologically demeaning behind this muthafucka, who I used to care for like a little brother, grew up dreamin' about my ass and sticking his dick up in it.

Maybe there's a definition somewhere in a Psych 301 textbook that states that anal dispositions manifested through dreams denotes the highest regard and respect for a person. Pedestal status, even.

Yeah. That's the ticket.

Let's go with that.

Now, after I cussed him out till I was tired -- 1) for having crusty ass wet dreams about me in his choo-choo train bed, and 2) revealing said secret in front of all the homies who were all now eyein' my ass intently...

...I got that number.

Well let me tell you that it hurts so bad
It makes me feel so sad
It makes me hurt so bad to see you again
-- Little Anthony & The Imperials

I done tried relaxing.

It still hurts.

Not to mention, afterwards your farts sound like whistles.

What Your Farts Sound Like After Anal Sex

Now head? I can fucks with head.

Not head for you! Head for me! The lingus-ningus. That good stuff. The Meal of Champions. Pink Ambrosia.

Yeah that!

It's not that I can cum a fafillion times off of head. Naw, head isn't about the orgasm to me.

It's about havin' a man's head between my legs. Polishin' me up like fine silver. Wif him mouth.

Makes me feel powerful.

I can see why you niggas are sprung off it. It's deifying. Cataclysmically ego-inflating.

Til you're burning up
Til you get enough
Til you're love is red
Love you til you're dead
-- Prince

Tastes just like chicken!

I'm broke, and irritable.

Not a good mix.

Who can I call to cuss out?


I got a taste for chitlins.

How random is that?


Anonymous O said...

A taste for chittlins? Wooo, handle that. Had 'em once, don't mess with 'em no more.

--Cataclysmically ego-inflating--
Damn, maybe that's real. I tell you what, only thing better is watching a woman's eyes get forlorn after a nice long kiss. Like "whu, whu's goin on." HA.

But anyway, broke and irritable ain't fun. I told myself I was through with broke...then shi# got tight again. I got my eye set on the date I'm done with broke for good, know what I mean? Need a little help from G to make that happen, but we'll see.

Take it light.

September 09, 2005 12:01 AM  
Blogger Midlife Crisis said...

I see a bitch done stumbled across a real queen. Your power is Truth. I am not mad.
Thank you for inviting me for a taste or three, with the cd player on shuffle and we just sittin up shootin the shit a little bit. I enjoyed the journey.

...Touch deez!! Ha!!

September 09, 2005 1:20 AM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

Loving the format...I coulda been dude. I remember seeing the neighbors grandaughter who used to walk me to school and staring her down while playing an Antoine Fisher quote in my head, "Yeah it's me and I'm all grown up."

September 09, 2005 10:33 AM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

@Amadeo -- Yeah, baby but the difference is that you had enough couth not to tell her that you wanted to fuck her up the ass. Yanno? LOL

@O -- I need to handle it; with a plate of steamin' hot chitlins doused with white vinegar and Texas Pete hot sauce. That would handle it right fair, if I do say so myself. LOL

@Midlife -- Who said pimps couldn't co-exist? LOL You make this bloggin' shit look easy, so it's a real treat that you stopped by. Come again.

September 09, 2005 11:37 AM  
Blogger chase said...

Lord have mercey that was some funny, bringing me back to the past shit. Keep on keeping on sis, Imfeeling you

September 12, 2005 11:58 PM  

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