Next Lifetime

Your energy
Feels so damn good to me
It picks me up
Don't wanna come down
Got you spinnin' all around
You need to know
I got somebody
But your beautiful
But still it ain't that type of party -- Badu

HAS to be the most fucked up emotional situation you can ever be in.

Err'thang is right.

Chemistry. So damn right. Interests. So right. Flow. So gatdman right.

...but you kinda in the middle of something. *ahem* Ok, ok. You're in a relationship.

That shit blows me, because this type of shit used to always seem to happen to me.

I was famous for havin' some ill timing when it came to my loins.

Me and Dennis messed with each other for years. How long was it? Had to be about 10 good years. On and off.

When I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't fuck with him.

When he had a girlfriend, I'd still fuck with him.

Hey, he'd ask, how come you refuse to cheat, but you make me cheat?

I'd sigh, and reassure him, Because you can't bear the thought of being without me.

I wasn't being arrogant. I was telling the truth.

I was his drug. I was his drink of choice. I was his equalizer. I was the neutralizer. I was his balance. I was...I was....the best piece of ass he ever had.

Oh, how sweetly I would kiss Dennis. Oh, so sweetly. I'd awaken his body with kisses. Wow, he loved kisses.

I knew how to touch him. What to say to him. How to hold him.

We'd slow drag in his living room to Keith Sweat and Gerald Levert, and he'd make me all wet and sticky at the thought of fluffy lips cushioning my clit.

*readjusting myself*

And then one day...he told me he was getting married.

Huh? Why?

You don't want me, he said.

I cried.

Because he was right.

Next lifetime won't be soon enough for me to hold him again though.

*raising my hand*

Ooh! Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Remember how you used to lean into that shit if the teacher was taking too long to pick you?

Ooooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Be gruntin' and shit.

Anyway, Alexander Foo was a big-swole boy in my 2nd grade class.

He was cock-diesel for a 7 year old. Had a big ass afro. And these puffy ass eyes that looked like he ain't never slept in his life.

...and he was black.

Don't ask me where he got that name, I'm just telling you the story.

Anyway, this little muthafucka would go up in the coat closet and eat people's lunches.

The foul shit was that he wouldn't eat ALL your lunch. Just the shit he liked. He'd leave the shit he ain't like.

On any given day, he would straight rough off about 10 lunches.

Kids be sittin' at the lunch table, crying and shit.

Teacher come over and there would be a bite out your sandwich.

A browning apple core.

Your juice would be gone.

Wiped his mouth with your napkin, and put it back in there.

Couldn't never catch that fucka doing it, but err'body knew Alexander was doing it.

Be at the table, hyperventilating,

Al-al-al-ex-AND-er ate my lunchhhhhhhhhh!

You know you had a fucked up lunch when Alexander didn't touch a gatdamned thing in it.

I wonder where that puffy-eyed, lunch bandit is now.

Oh, and he stunk too.

I guess I'll see you next lifetime...

Jeanette Robey pee'd on herself in third grade, and we still call her Pee Pee Girl.

Kids are cruel.

Speaking of which...let me go pay my water bill.