Monday, July 24, 2006

Bring Me To Life

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back...home
-- Evanescence

The coolness of complete detachment and unaffiliation from your own senses.

The bliss of it.

It reminds me of a dream that I had once about this sprawling mansion, ornate and prestigious was its facade. Dilapidated and badly in need of repair, it was on the inside. The accidental tourist who beseeched his way past the front door, soon found the tour too daunting and searched for an exit.

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
-- Evanescence

Giving someone else that sort of power over you...dangerous.

I don't have that type of faith in people anymore. The task looks challenging. Adventurous even.

But who's really apt to take it on?

Climb your own mountains. Cross your own plains, is what I say.

Leave the exploration and rescue of yourself to no one.

I don't care if they say they can do it.

I'm telling you...

They can't.

When we get married
We'll have a big celebration
And send invitations
To all our friends and relations
And we'll have a ball
Dancin' and all
When we get married...
-- Larry Graham

My best friend got married today at 10:00 a.m.

At first, I was skeptical. Having never met his intended, and knowing that she was 13 years his junior...I was wondering what in the hell had he sauntered his easy-lovin' self into.

But I met her last night, and knew immediately why he had become so enchanted, so smitten with soon.

She's a breath of fresh air.

And I left the house last night feeling that with this wedding I wouldn't be mourning the loss of my friend, but yet...celebrating the addition to the family.

Cuz you know how bitches can be.

The fact that he and I have a 25+ year friendship, where I can tell his mood with a glance of his eye, was daunting and intimidating to most of the insecure souls he had shared his bed and his life with thus far.

But as she and I talked, and communed in sisterhood, I didn't feel that dreaded sense that I would have to be the past...but that she welcomed me as part of their future.

He and I must have hugged each other 5 times last night. Incredible, because neither one of us are the huggy-type.

But it just felt good. It felt right.

Mike. Love you. Monique. I look forward to feeling the same about you over the years.

And it would definitely sweeten the pot if you named the baby after me.



Anonymous call2arms said...

It is nice that your friends new wife is cool.

I'm not quite sure why the female friend gets bothered when her guy friend gets a gf/wife that wants to be the only and main woman in his life.

Why does that desire earn her b**ch status?

July 24, 2006 5:06 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

Huh? Did you just read my post?

I've never been "bothered" by a bitch acting all clingy about one of my male friends -- they are pretty terrific guys; I can see why they have problems "sharing." But the act of sharing doesn't always denote that we share his intimacy, but we do share his love. And out of the abundance of his love, he is able to encircle many. Am I different because I'm no blood relation? You couldn't tell us that. I'm his 1st child's godmother. I'll be in his "church wedding" once they finish saving up for it. I've been there for 25 YEARS! You know how hard it is to hold on to your friends that long? You don't throw that away for nobody. I've been more "bothered" that they allowed that type of sycophantish tomfoolery to exist in their relationships though. When a Johnny-Come-Lately broad steps into our family -- and Mike IS my family -- and tries to regulate the depth of our connection, then yeah...that's nonsense. Since I've never wanted a luscious hair off of his head. That's some other bitches' problem in my book. He and I secretly giggled about it behind their backs anyway. But even KNOWING that them chicks were some fools, I kept a respectful distance...enabling their sickness, and at least, making things easier for Mike at home.

I have no clue why a woman would want to be the only or main (as relative as THAT is) woman in her man's life. I'm not that type of chick. I've never precluded any of my boyfriends from having female friends, but rather welcomed it. Friendships are akin to cultivation, and cultivation is akin to growth. I want my man to grow -- in a respectful manner -- and continue to have full and beautiful friendships with whoever he chooses to. I know I intend to. My friendships with my male friends are non-negotiable; I wouldn't give them up for the world. They help make me the chick that I am.

But that might just be me. Renaissance bitch that I am.

So you might want to ask an insecure broad that question. She might could answer it for you.

And for the latter...everyone is on bitch status, if I say they are. Just a word. Don't dig a hole for it cuz it's not that deep. ;-)

...though I never called Mo a bitch. That's my new sis now! of 10 o'clock EST. LMAO!

July 24, 2006 5:20 PM  
Anonymous o said...

Dang, your site should come with an advisory! See, if I didn't know you, err your blog persona, better I'd have caught a comment like that and been inclined to see it as--well, since I DO know that persona, I can say that how I saw it wouldn't really matter all that much to you. But this is really beside the point.

Your unfiltered, un-massaged words are fun for me when your aim is the theoretical (to me) world that is your life. 'cuz of course you could be talking about any John, Jim, and Lamont on the planet and I wouldn't know.

Anyway, what I was gonna say before I got all tangentialized by your comment in your own blog is out of place now so I gotta wait another couple months till the next time you turn on one mf my favorite shows (yup, I still refer to your blog as one of my shows).

But on to the topic of your post, I'm of the opinin that if you don't want your man or woman having extremely close friends of the opposite gender, you find that junk out early and step. My girl's best friend is a dude, has been for a month of Sundays. How'd I look---AAAAAAARRRGGHHHH, I just dropped a you-ism in your comments. Anyway, how'd I look having a problem with that now that her life is a third done and he's been there for the first half? Wouldn't make no sense at all. Plus he's a cool cat. But this is your blog and I'm dominating this comment section with my rambling. Plus I got work to do. Okay, okay, I'm leaving. Congrats to your bro on finding what he wanted.

July 24, 2006 6:06 PM  
Anonymous call2arms said...

I certainly wasn't trying to get you riled up over here at your spot.

I didn't know if the b**ch was specific to women who tried to ex out the female friend or a general term. I guess it is a general term.

Your entry led me to wonder if you became happy with his choice because she wasn't going to try and force you out of your place in his life.

July 24, 2006 6:20 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

*in my Squeak voice*

Who dis woman?


C2A, you ever stop by much? Nina don't get riled up about much...Nina's animated.

And though it's jive impolite to plop down on my virtual couch and try to analyze me, I'll indulge the interruption because uh...Nina is amused by your angle.

Ok...where do we start?

Bitches are bitches are broads are chicks are hoes. And I tend to like the way it sounds especially when I overemphasize the "tch." It makes me giggle.

At any rate, I'm glad my entries led you somewhere. Maybe they'll lead you back here more often. Or maybe they'll lead you to more inaccurate deductions. Either way...maybe I'll see you again?

I do really hate when the armchair analysts show up.

Every now and then I'm reminded that these ramblings of mine go better with Coke. <--- hee hee

July 24, 2006 9:58 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

Dang, your site should come with an advisory! See, if I didn't know you, err your blog persona, better I'd have caught a comment like that and been inclined to see it as--well, since I DO know that persona, I can say that how I saw it wouldn't really matter all that much to you. But this is really beside the point.

How would you have caught the comment if you didn't know my, persona, O? Indulge me with your take on it.

Nina ain't the Kissy-fur-face type, and I thought my post was jive sweet. About as sweet as I'm gonna get for havin' met a broad one time. LOL!

I really liked Mo. C2A comin' in here half-readin' and causin' commotion. I'm fi'n to kick her outta here. LMAO!

July 24, 2006 10:04 PM  
Anonymous O said...

Nope, no indulging. I'm just passing through looking for something CSI and the void before football can't quite fill. Does Nina refer to Nina in the 3rd person all the time or just on special occasions *grin*?

Anyway, I'm supposed to be sleep right now, so until the next time you post...

July 25, 2006 2:47 AM  
Blogger Jomama said...

Glad to see a new post from you.

It's funny that this post caused drama, because I just thought it was sweet. I agree it's insecurity (or an inflated sense of self) that would make someone demand that their significant other neglect friends and family for them. It just doesn't make much sense to me. And that's my $0.02.

I wish the best to your buddy and his new bride.

July 25, 2006 6:59 AM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

I thought it was su-weet too, Jomama. Yanno, people filter what they read through their own experiences, circumstances and the comments are more telling than the posts, in my opinion. LMAO!

Oh...and O. You SUCK monkey nuts for writing me an unintelligible comment, and then refusing to elaborate on it. ;-)

July 25, 2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger Sonnyredd said...

Yo, welcome back ma! You gonna keeps up the ruckus so I can add your spot back to the links section, or what?

Damn, you're you like the Journal...publishing quarterly and shit.

Confusing niggaz with randomness and lucidity to boot.

Sonny "I don't mess with Africa. Then niggas is starving, and THAT'S not ballin' to me!"Redd.

July 25, 2006 11:01 AM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

Glad you're back in the rotation...Hell yeah I'm a strong advocate of having babies named after me. I'm great guy why not? My name could only help a child.

July 25, 2006 12:45 PM  
Blogger Nina MM said...

Sonny, I saw that I got evicted off your links list. I thought I had left one too many chicken bones on the kitchen counter or sumfin'. LMAO! Yeah...a broad gon' try to keep her chronic writer's block to a minimum, and stop livin' all up in her feelings. Like. Like a. Girl.

ROFLMAO! @ Nina publishin' quarterly.

Amadeo, that's what I'm sayin', bruh. Smack my moniker on that babe and what she got to look forward to? Stardom! Nothing less, ya heard? LOL!

July 25, 2006 1:11 PM  
Blogger Berry said...

Awwww, glad she met with your approval cause if she didn't lawd help her.

July 26, 2006 3:13 PM  
Blogger Berry said...

Okay, just got through reading the comments and damned it you and damned if you don't. I was going to compliment you on the "sweet" tone of the post but then folks who obviously have not tasted the wrath of hurricane Nina stepped in the pile. To all new readers...this about as sweet and mushy as it gets around here.

July 26, 2006 3:20 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home