Monday, January 01, 2007


The children
Need something
With more substance
And more meaning
A message, intended
To leave them with something much more to believe in
Now its cool for us to say
All the things we say and do
All the things we do to express ourselves
But we should, try to find a way
To bring balance to this hate and
Leave a good impression on someone else... -- Musiq Soulchild

My niece sent me a scripture, bless her heart. Amazing that the baby that I rocked and changed is a grown woman herself. Mother of her own.

Sending her Auntie a scripture. Just cuz she thought it was something I needed to read.

That type of shit makes this all worth it.

'Cause in this world
There isn't much love goin around
We should try to, give a little bit more
There isn't much love goin around
(We should try) We should try to give a little bit more -- Givemorelove, Musiq

I prayed for the first time in umpty ump the other day, because I seriously want to start this year in a more positive light.

I fully admit to myself that I'm carting around too much baggage with me.

Shit, I ain't even gonna call it baggage. The shit's luggage.

And it's not the luggage that you would expect a sophisticate such as myself to be totin' around either.

I got Puerto Rican luggage.

Issues and problems and challenges and shortcomings and flaws and past pains and lowered expectations all packed up into these crummy little bags of ego-plastic.

I can't go nowhere
I can't be the same
I don't know my name
I can't understand just
It seems to hang on... -- It Seems To Hang On, Ashford & Simpson

I'm having a "awww hell naw" moment here. Bear with me.

So acknowledgement's the first step, eh?

So anyway...back to God.

I miss Him, I do. And I far from the vine must I be when I find it hard to get on my knees and let it go?

Not really sure that I want to know the distance I've traveled these last four years.

Just content to go to hell, eh?

Hell isn't even relevant to me right now. And that's just it. I need it to be relevant to me. I need at least the concept (not the probability that there is such a place) to motivate me to LIVE better.

Because I said the other day, pain is no excuse to live badly.

So the days of living badly have been conveniently double-knot tied into the Puerto Rican luggage that I left on the curbside of 2006 Boulevard.

And I'm walking into 2007...unabashed. Unafraid. And untied.

I'm scared.

They say your attitude determines your latitude
I'm high as a motherfucker
Fly as a motherfucker
And still the motherfucker you love to hate
But can't
Because you love what I make
Now ain't that about a bitch... -- Brand New, Rhymefest

My knees might be shakin', but as fast as I walked my ass out of 2006... didn't even notice.