Monday, May 28, 2007

Snatch The Cat Back

You make a bitch wanna snatch the cat back
How you gonna act when I snatch the cat back?
I wish I never let you hit it from the back
Cuz now I wanna snatch the cat back...
-- Khia

Oh, what a perfectly ignorant way for me to make a comeback.

Snatch the cat back, eh? Really?

Let's see...

I would snatch the cat back from Keenan and his anal, sexually-repressed ass. Nice piece, nice thickness. Jive yummy in that area, but the hang-ups this fool had? Lawd. I couldn't enjoy myself for all of the rules I had to adhere too. Huh? Can I enjoy this shit? Damn. And he was hella jealous too. Last time I almost saw him, I called him while he was on his way over and told him naw...I changed my mind. I want to end up in somebody's lunchbox over a fuck. Keenan looked like the type to cut me into coldcuts.

You make a bitch wanna snatch the cat back...

I'd snatch it back from Darren too. What grown ass man has bald pubes? Took his pants down and shorty was butter-b-ball nekkid 'round his hither parts. I looked up at him, Where's the hair? Long silence. I like it bald, he said. I suddenly felt unsexy. Well my shit ain't bald. I'm grown. I got pubes, I offered. Let's just get that shit straight right here and now. S'posed to be some hair down there. But then again, this was the same dude that had a taste for my toes and who I had to lock the bathroom door with cuz he would sneak in and watch me wipe myself. Now Nina likes a little kink, but let me wipe myself in peace, ya dig?

You make a bitch wanna snatch the cat back...

Took his draws down and I 'clare I thought Rod reached down and tried to shake my hand. Tiger-print draws, and he had a leopard hiding in there. The schlong on this man! Mama-say-mama-saw-mama-coo-saw! I can't take...all...of...that, I muttered. He snickered, Oh yeah you can. And oh yeah, I could. And *gyrating* Oooh, lawd, yeah I could. *gyrating* And just when, and just when, I could really take it...he took it. And ugh. That leopard morphed into a sleeping dog. And it ain't bark no more that night. Lazy big dick mu'fuckas make me sick.

You make a bitch wanna snatch the cat back...

I have no idea why I was so crazy about Carlos. No, I know what it was. He was entirely and completely arrogant. God, I love that in a man. Ugly as 10 miles of bad road, but if you were a toilet, you couldn't tell him he wasn't the SHIT, ya heard? Loved it. E was tryna get down with me, but he was moving too slow, so I let Carlos do what he did best, and kick his best game to me. Took me home after a party (after I unceremoniously blew my boys off), and attempted to sweat my Cream of Nature out. Damndest thing though...every angle he hit -- hurt. No, he wasn't packin' like that. Straight average. Just had the most hurtin' dick I have ever experienced. EVER angle hurt. Every one. I thought he must have little barbs on his shit, cuz I'm like...why in the world am I in pain? Then after I soldiered through the vaginal irritation of it all, this ugly muthafucka gon' talk shit.


You make a bitch wanna snatch the cat back...

If only I could.