Friday, July 28, 2006

Judgment Day

The inevitable can't be stalled
I'm the son of the maker of all
And this is the final call
You could stand or you could crawl
When the seas and the rivers run dry, when the last of samaritans die
He will look you deep inside and your soul can never lie
On judgment day...
-- Stephen Simmonds

It's day like this, I'm sure I'm going to hell. And if not there, someplace comparably warm.

I can't stand sweet smellin' niggers. Stop buying those cheap oils on the street from Gamin and Shuckin and Jivin. I stood behind this man today in the line at my favorite deli, and was repulsed by the sweet sickening smell wafting from his body, and the sight of his pointy-toed Harold Pener Men of Fashion shoes.

I rolled my eyes at him.

I have the sense of smell of a dog. I 'clare I do.

I walk with my head down on the street just so I don't have to smell people.

So when u call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
U know the one - Dr. Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby...
-- Let's Go Crazy, Prince

Nina knows how much of hers is left.

Not much.

I can't touch paper while I'm eating.

The manager of CVS thinks we are friends. He touched me one time too many today. I asked him not to touch me again.

Actually, Nina said, Get your hands off me.

Picture that. Kee-keein' with the pansy, haw hawin' along. And then Nina's face contorts.

Get your hands off me.

I'm on Zoloft to keep me from killin' ya'll! -- Mike Tyson

I'm not medicated...yet. But it prolly ain't a bad idea.

So emotional, you know I am
That's why you do me the way you do me, if you be cool wit me
You'll see...
-- We Could Be, Keyshia Cole

People only fuck with you when they know they can.

Seriously...if they thought they couldn't get a rise out of you...

They wouldn't even bother with you.

Yeah, and they do that until they meet.

Someone like me.

Kate: I'm a good woman to you, Doc. Don't I always take care of you? Nobody cares for you like me. I'm a good woman.
Doc: Yes, I know. You are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist.

Hee hee.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Mean Sleep

What can we scrape together
From all the worn emotions
Handfuls of hate
And the bittersweet devotion
Cuz I am pushing cobwebs
And I'm floating into myself
Who will find me under this mean sleep?
-- Van Hunt

But babbbbbbbbby...when you wake up?

And you got to reckon with what is, and what ain't, and what you hope to be, and what cain't...


I rolled dice, I broke ice with you
True, I felt that i wanted to be known by you
But now I know you
Said I'm worried that I'll fall for you
And as i know that said I'm worried 'bout the things we do
Now, Mr. Messed Up, I've been here before
See with another brother that I would have died for
And as you see we're not together anymore...
-- Mr. Messed Up, Floetry

A woman's intuition isn't to be questioned.

My sister's therapist said that when we are in a toxic mode, we date the same person...over

...and over

...and over


Until we finally get the fuckin' clue to try something DIFFERENT.

By first changing.

That mean sleep is a muthafucka...

I will rip out your eyeballs, and skull-fuck you to death! -- Louis Gossett, Jr., An Officer and A Gentleman

Dreadfully, I know how that feels now.

$325 for eyeglasses.

Granted...they are fly as hell, but HUH? How the fuck I can't manage to ever pick out one of those "Buy One, Get the Other Free" frames.

Naw...not Nina.

Nina's index finger pointed to these --

...and that's what Nina got.

Frou-frou bitch.

All that was missing was the and the pillowtalk.

Cuz Nina certainly got fucked.

And yeah, O....Nina refers to herself in third person. Cuz you know how that bitch is.

Self. Important.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Bring Me To Life

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back...home
-- Evanescence

The coolness of complete detachment and unaffiliation from your own senses.

The bliss of it.

It reminds me of a dream that I had once about this sprawling mansion, ornate and prestigious was its facade. Dilapidated and badly in need of repair, it was on the inside. The accidental tourist who beseeched his way past the front door, soon found the tour too daunting and searched for an exit.

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
-- Evanescence

Giving someone else that sort of power over you...dangerous.

I don't have that type of faith in people anymore. The task looks challenging. Adventurous even.

But who's really apt to take it on?

Climb your own mountains. Cross your own plains, is what I say.

Leave the exploration and rescue of yourself to no one.

I don't care if they say they can do it.

I'm telling you...

They can't.

When we get married
We'll have a big celebration
And send invitations
To all our friends and relations
And we'll have a ball
Dancin' and all
When we get married...
-- Larry Graham

My best friend got married today at 10:00 a.m.

At first, I was skeptical. Having never met his intended, and knowing that she was 13 years his junior...I was wondering what in the hell had he sauntered his easy-lovin' self into.

But I met her last night, and knew immediately why he had become so enchanted, so smitten with soon.

She's a breath of fresh air.

And I left the house last night feeling that with this wedding I wouldn't be mourning the loss of my friend, but yet...celebrating the addition to the family.

Cuz you know how bitches can be.

The fact that he and I have a 25+ year friendship, where I can tell his mood with a glance of his eye, was daunting and intimidating to most of the insecure souls he had shared his bed and his life with thus far.

But as she and I talked, and communed in sisterhood, I didn't feel that dreaded sense that I would have to be the past...but that she welcomed me as part of their future.

He and I must have hugged each other 5 times last night. Incredible, because neither one of us are the huggy-type.

But it just felt good. It felt right.

Mike. Love you. Monique. I look forward to feeling the same about you over the years.

And it would definitely sweeten the pot if you named the baby after me.