Wednesday, August 09, 2006

It Keeps You Runnin'




I know what it means to hide your heart
From a long time ago
Oh, darling
It keeps you runnin'...
-- Doobie Brothers

I wish Cingular would stop sending me these yearly mailings talking about that cell phone bill. I'm not paying that shit. I said as much in my letter to their stupid asses.

I'on care who pays it. I'm not.

Over-charging muthafuckas.

Bill collectors will keep your ass runnin' though. If I never get another call from one, it will be too soon.

Not because they disturb me, but because I get a perverse pleasure from fuckin' with their asses. I literally had one tell me "You're sick, Ms. Millimeter."

Stating the obvious for $1000, Alex!

I'm so sick of SonnyRedd's ass...lawd. If that nigga don't stop saying shit "ain't ballin' to him," I'ma lose my muthafuckin' MIND! I laughed for a good HOUR off of that shit, man!

Keep up, keep up...Sonny has a blog I read often. You can find it over there ---->

At any rate...he sittin' in front of me on the Hell Express, and he's wearing 93 Octane cologne.



Them niggas starvin'...



I can't READ it no more!



Anyway...

I'on have a problem with Mo'Nique bein' all fat and shit. That shit don't bother me. Not even that malarky about her being fat and HEALTHY. *insert eye roll here*
But why she gotta sound all fuckin' fat? Huh? Sound like she gargle with butter and shit.

I'ma need her voice to go on a diet. Fat fucka her.

You're still a young man
Baby, don't waste your time
-- You're Still A Young Man, Tower of Power

I like the slender tenders. I will fuck wit' a baby or two. 22? You old enough for me. I'll gi' you some.

...though, objectively, I don't recommend that younger men date older women. The succubi that we are. You'll learn alot, but at what cost? 25 year olds should do what 25 year olds do.

But in the event that you don't take my advice...call me.



Generous portions of grapes and cherries will keep you running as well.

Huh?

Nevermind.

I didn't get to see the season opener of "Celebrity Fit Club," but I'm mad in advance at Carnie "Fat Ass" Wilson.

How the fuck you gon' put your life on the line and have a gastric bypass operation, and then fuck around and get fat again? That's some pressed shit. Food ain't that serious, Carnie.

Didn't her momma and daddy tell her that Mama Cass choked on a chicken bone?

Though my sister's version had her chokin' on a chitlin'.

Her fat ass choked on something! Does it really matter?

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5 Comments:

Blogger S.S. Dot Carter said...

You, my dear, are a nut. LOL

And I'm over here sick that that's Carnie Wilson big ass on Celebrity Fit Club. Have mercy.

August 09, 2006 5:51 PM  
Blogger Sonnyredd said...

Ahh, we will bask in the warm glow of the eternal fires together, my dear. Of that rest assured.

Oh well...you know what they say--Better to burn in hell than...(lemme stop fore on the off chance that I was one point off from making it in, they be like "yeah, you was alright up until that comment...yeah nigga, I said you WAS alright...")

And momma Cass died eating a ham sammich...or a ham....some shit like that.

Remember her scooby doo episode? THAT shit was funny. Her ass out ate Scooby AND shaggy.

August 09, 2006 11:54 PM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

It was a ham sandwich...matter of fact if you die like that they call it a Mama Cass.

I kept hearing the Wilson girl was on there and I thought, "Didn't she lose her weight?" Ah well...I guess she couldn't hold on...

August 10, 2006 11:31 AM  
Anonymous viperteq said...

Yo, you are funny as hell, lol!!!! I'll definitely need to check back on the blog from time to time.

That line about younger men and older women...very. very. true. I'm 32 now, so I've recovered, but when I was 22, she was 31 and boy was that some rollercoaster ride, ha!!!

August 10, 2006 8:35 PM  
Blogger ManNMotion said...

You sound anxious and angry, can I offer you a Xanax?

September 19, 2006 9:47 PM  

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